Out of necessity and interest, I've begun Italian lessons. Twice a week a mom from the kids' school comes to our home in the evening. I put the baby to sleep & Ellie & Liam watch a movie while Justin & I have our lesson. So far it's going well, although the grammar of Italian is difficult (many more articles, sentence structure is different, genders, and everything has to agree in gender & quantity). Justin keeps having work dinners (lucky!) and has missed a few lessons, but overall the situation is working out well.
I'm also working through a language program on the computer which I bought before we came here. It is very helpful - teaching me a few new words & lots of repetition each lesson. But, there are some things it's taught me that are incorrect. For instance, "Io voglio" means "I want". But, (I learned from the real live Italian teacher), it is used by children when they are being naughty & demanding - "I want! I want!" Instead, a polite person should say, "Io vorrei", which is closer to "I would like". So, I take the computer program with a grain of salt.
Finally, I have two language exchanges with Italian women each week. One is a mom from the school. We go to her house & talk (mainly in English for now). The idea is that over time, as I become better at Italian, we can speak half the time in English & half in Italian, so we can both practice. The other woman is a nutritionist that I met through the International Women's Club of Treviso. Most of the women in that club come from other areas: the U.S., other parts of Europe, Japan, Israel, etc. This woman comes because she wants to improve her English. She & I meet & walk around town and talk. Becaues of these exchanges, I am already understanding so much Italian! It's the talking that's hard.
Ander is now going to a babysitter 3X/week in the mornings. Originally I wanted someone to come to my house, but this arrangement is good because the caregiver has a lot of toys and there is one other child with Ander. It's more interesting for him there. She speaks English, but with the children she speaks Italian. So, he'll definately get the language! The question will be - will any of us retain the language once we go home? We have a few Italian friends in Palo Alto, so we'll rely on them as much as we can to practice.
This week, when I met for my language exchange with the mom from school, I had a little cooking lesson. We sat in the kitchen to have a coffee, & she started going through her frig to teach me the names of some items: proscutto crudo, proscutto cotto, pancetta, etc. . . There is an abundance of pork products here, and Italians feel very strongly about the importance of each type - where it comes from, qualitites that make it unique, what dishes it is good for, etc. Before this, I really didn't know the difference between proscutto & pancetta (I thought they were the same thing, just cut differently). Man was I wrong! She also taught me how to make Pasta Carbonara, which is a local dish. The pasta sauce is made mainly from pancetta & eggs. Of course, she told me, it is important to use spagetti #5 for this dish. In my mind, who cares? I talked with another American about this later & she laughed. Her husband is Italian & when she made this dish for him (with #3, not #5 pasta), he told her it was all wrong. In our way of thinking, #3 cooks faster than #5 & it tastes the same. For them, each ingredient & step in cooking is a part of their heritage & identity. I hope to take a "real" cooking class while I am here in Italy. Then, when I return to the states, I'll have to take another one - to teach me how to cook other types of food from scratch. Will I be converted? Or will I return to my Trader Joe's ways?
Recently a new Italian aquantance invited me to a shop where you can buy designer children's clothes & jackets for 1/2 off. I thanked her politely, but told her I didn't need anything for the kids. The truth is, I'm not a person who would spend $150 on a jacket for a kid who is going to ruin or outgrow it right away. If the jacket was normally $300, I still don't feel that $150 is a bargain. Why would a kid's jacket ever cost $300? Well, then, she told me that there is another shop where they have adult clothes & jackets. Again, I said no. Really, I wouldn't spend $300 on a jacket for myself either! Of course, here you don't just come right out & say "no". It would be rude. The kids were sick & home from school, so I had a good excuse. The next time she asked, Justin was on a business trip in the US, another good excuse. Then she suggested that we go after school one day & her babysitter could watch my kids. I didn't feel I could say "no" any more without losing her as a friend & alienating myself from the whole Italian community here! It was totally inconvenient for me, but I felt obligated to go. Then, on the way there, she told me that if you spend $500, then you get another $30% off. That's when it hit me - "I'm going to have to buy something! And, it's not going to be cheap." In the end, I was able to find one thing that wasn't too expensive. Another woman was with us & she bought something too, so with all of us, we got the extra 30% off. As time goes on, I'll learn more about how to navigate these situations gracefully. For now, I'm just observing how different things are here, and enjoying the warmth of my new designer coat!
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